The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming.

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That quote, for those of you who don’t watch movies, is from the film The Dark Knight. Until now, I just thought it was an interesting statement, but the fact is that I’ve lived like that. Also, until now, there was really no dawn to speak of.

But, as these usually do go, a subtle light has entered my world again. It’s just a small ray of light, actually, but in the severe darkness I’ve been through it becomes a shining beacon. A ray of hope, if you will.

This week, for the first time in sixteen months, I’ll be heading off to a day job. That’s a search that started over two years ago, before I’d left the previous position (and the enormity of the stress involved with it). It’s a part time job, but it’s doing the things that I’ve learned so much about over my fifteen years in the business.

Glowing in the light of the darkness

Glowing in the light of the darkness

 

They really seemed to appreciate the vast, different types of knowledge that I have. Be it graphic design, or technology, or web work, they were very interested in my full amount of knowledge. On top of that, they were quite interested in my writing capabilities. My previous positions were only interested in that side of my work in passing, so it’s great to hear someone really likes it.

Above all, they are just excited to have me there. That’s a feeling I haven’t had in a very, very long time, and not through several jobs. I’ve sent out nearly a hundred resumes too, with little interest, so to have someone genuinely excited for me to be there is a good feeling.

In these last two years, my art has also drifted away. I’ve had fewer and fewer publishers, despite sending out lots of queries. I haven’t sold any of my originals, save for one set when I was a con guest two years ago. I only sold a handful of prints at my Spectrum booth in May, a severe crash and disruption to my bank account. That one has been hard to overcome, without at least breaking even my money situation has turned desperate.

Above all though, the constant job search, and lack of anyone taking interest in me, is soul crushing. This small opportunity at a day position might at least smooth some things out. It’s been famine for a long time, and, while I don’t expect a feast anytime soon, at least a little grub would be nice.

So, as I enter my 40’s today, we will see what happens. It’s a good time to look at my future, and if art will be in it, or even writing, and to what extent I can create from here. That quick new piece above, called Glowing in the light of the darkness, is the first shot over the bow. Now to see if I sink or swim.

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